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five_by_five- 11-27-2005
a vampire story...well the start
Kalika herd a noise to her left, she looked to see an ally. Curious as she was she walked down the dark and lonely ally way. Her black boots made hardly no sound as she walked. There came a voice she new all to well "Hello darling, i see you've been looking for me" she can feel him breathing on the back of her neck. Quickly she turned around and raised her cross bow. The vampire laughed and lunged forward, knocking her cross bow out of her hand and sending her to the ground. The vampires cold hands wrapped around her neck. She gasped for air and stared into his cold eyes "I'll do you a favor pet, I'll make you a vampire instead of killing you" he gave a wicked smile "now how doesn’t that sound?" He stood, taking Kalika with him and slammed her hard into a brick wall. Leaning close to her he whispered "there will only be a moment of pain" his fangs shimmering in the moon light. Kalika spoke for the first time "please don't..."she whispered. Warm tears streamed down her pink cheeks. The vampire drew back and smiled at her. One hand pinned her to the wall. He raised his other hand and ran his fingers over her cheek lightly "darling, you were going to kill me" Without another word he moved her head to one side and his fangs pierced her neck. Kalika let out a silent scream as she felt the pain, yet the sensation was indescribable. She wanted him to stop what he was doing yet begged him to continue. Soon she fell weak and became limp. The vampire let her slid to the ground where her own soul was taken away. The vampire swiftly made a clean cut across his wrist and let his blood drip into her open mouth. Kalika then took his wrist hungrily and drank. She felt herself changing. The vampire then stood taking his wrist away, it healed in an instant. Holding out a hand to her Kalika took it and stood. Her new vision adjusted as well and smell. Kalika saw a whole new world. Her once ice blue eyes had a cold shadow casts over them, her cloths to had turned dark. "my creation, my Kalika" the vampire walked around his new child. Kalika struck out her arm and a stake pierced his heart, the vampire looked at her in shock "wh..why?" he asked falling to his knees. Kalika now wore a dark smile "you killed me, it's only fair i was to return the favor" Then the vampire turned into dust and was blown away by a soft breeze. Kalika placed her stake back in her belt and walked down the ally, her senses picking up and heart racing. She was born again, born into a world that seemed new to her. The only thought that raced through her mind was human blood, she now craved it.

Steve- 11-28-2005

Awesome!!!! It was so easy to imagine this and sense her fear (I know that sounds weird). The twist at the end was awesome.

five_by_five- 12-01-2005

thanks, ah so tired...I know i can improve it but to do that i need time. Maybe on the holidays!

Jessie- 02-22-2006

ooo thats cool :) i really did like the twist, and the writing was not cheesy, like alot of fan fiction can be, great job :)

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